New Blog, Same Old Feelings

I just feel "trapped", like Im tryna find a way out and change the shit I do and do things that will lead me to solidarity or whatever. But sometimes you can't find a way out or escape the feeling. No doesn't matter how High I get or who I talk to, it just stays there. I guess I just have to let it take it's course and be miserable for whatever amount of time.


But it seems all too often that I have this feeling and it just gets worse. Sometimes I feel as though i will feel "trapped" my whole life. Like this feeling will always be there lingering. This wistful feeling. It's like Im in a dysphoric state, I just have this fear I guess..of life. Honestly right now I don't feel physically nor mentally strong. It takes way too much energy pretending like life is going well when it's complete hell. I guess thats just the positive spirit in me thats tryna break through. I guess good things will come..in due time.


I just want to feel free, live free & be free of..myself. If that makes sense..